Do it in the dark, compress the belly, avoid some positions to minimize rolls...How can it be that even in such an intimate moment (sex) it still costs us to undress of prejudices?
Almost daily Internet nourishes dozens of articles with tips, studies or opinions that promise to achieve sexual well -being "despite" having a few extra kilos ".If you are one of those who ever looked for this type of information to improve its performance, the first thing you should know is that the main culprit of linking overweight or obesity with bad experiences in bed are ourselves.
“To deny that obesity and overweight have influence on sexual development or performance would be to hide reality because we live in a very fat-dating society.This promotes the feeling that only people with hegemonic bodies can achieve happiness and that - for the rest - seduction and enjoyment are relegated, ”says Clinical Sex Amelia of the Padilla salary.
The matrix of the matter brings us the lack of sex education that exists and is appreciated equally in everyday life.For example, in the absence of options for large sizes in underwear or sex shops tucumanos (with their lingerie or costumes).
Libido
A fairly entrenched belief is that our sexual appetite can be minimized.On this point it becomes impossible to generalize because there are overweight people who have a high desire for pleasure and another low.In addition to varying the response according to the menstrual cycle, mood and food, between a diversity of triggers.
What is accurate is that the libido have a lot of psychological factors.If we feel dissatisfied with our body, it is likely that there is a negative impact when taking off our clothes, looking at us and discovering the sensual potential.
“From the media, influencers and fashion, an aesthetic ideal of perfection to imitate is built.It is these aspirational and unreal images that harm our trust because they place people with obesity as inappropriate and far from beauty stereotypes.This is how self -esteem deteriorates, ”reflects the bariatric psychologist Claudia Alonso, a member of the North Surgery and Obesity Institute (icon).
This scenario usually affects women.“They are what usually have a more negative body image, poor self -esteem, little self -acceptance and a rejection of the body itself.In addition to experiencing stigmatization, discrimination, which makes them feel more unattractive and desirable, ”he details.
However, the clinical sexologist emphasizes that these circumstances are not exclusive to those who look with anguish the red numbers of the balance."There are also women or men without overweight who, due to a distortion of body image or some eating behavior disorder, avoid intimacy so as not to exhibit," says Alonso.
This idiosyncrasy ravages in terms of eating disorders."Those who have anorexia and bulimia submit their organism to the most chilling purges to belong to a society that only knows how to consume beauty," laments sexual educator.
Performance
When the time for intercourse, an equally frequent myth is to think of less performance and exhaustion scenes in the middle of the show.
“Overweight always relates to those who have medical problems or practice.When talking about its influence on sexuality it is necessary to use a concept of healthy and integral health.If the woman or man performs regular controls and consumes (needing it) medication would not exist from the clinical part any impediment to enjoying their intimacy, ”he clarifies from the Padilla salary.
Of course, there are some diseases to take into account, but the issue of skin and contact is not related to clinical pictures but to allow us to feel.
“In addition, you have to stop limiting sexuality to penetration and also nourishing us with the rest of pleasant activities that can be experienced in a sexAffective bond.Sex brings benefits from the perspective of breathing, endorphins and pleasure discharge, ”says the sexologist.
Exclusion
In the office, of the Padilla salary that the problem also affects young people during their first meetings and generates a source of traumas, anguish or stress.The list appears instances such as being relegated from the night sphere (with the exits to bowls), the appointments or even the holidays on the beach.
“Some teenagers still think about taking photos having sex with the fattest person they find in Bariloche to share it with their friends and make fun of.With attacks so frightful it is complex to get rid and enjoy ”, contrasts.
A brother conflict is pornography consumption and XXX videos in which obesity appears as a fetish or under the morbid label.
“Luckily there was a certain openness and progress with dissident or feminist porn, it enabled different spaces than those shown by mass consumption pornography.However, hegemonic porn remains the greatest sociocultural insertion and still represents the initiation to the learning of many men.Even with the pandemic, its consumption reached children of eight or nine years ”, alert.
