This post is not dedicated to future and recent mothers, but to all those more or less well-intentioned people who want to help during their first days at home. What is technically known as the puerperium and which is the hardest phase of the entire process.
And if you are going to be recent fathers or mothers, you can send it to whoever you consider appropriate so that they can get their act together.
It is relatively frequent that during those first moments mothers, mothers-in-law, fathers, fathers-in-law, brothers-in-law appear at home...
They want to keep you company and help you, they say. But many times, what they understand by helping you is to stay rocking the baby so that you have time to iron, take the dog out, go shopping, prepare food...
Well no. The baby already has a mother. And that mother will probably be upset about the stitches, overcoming a C-section that is a major surgery, tired, poorly asleep, overwhelmed by the new routine that is being established...
The best way to help is to take home-cooked food, do the shopping, iron or take the dog out...
Those who really want to help you and love you will probably understand. In fact, it is very possible that it will come out of them.
And to those who get angry when they are told that if they want to help, they should go down to the supermarket on the corner for toilet paper and eggs, fuck them.
The hours at which they want to help are also important. I know of a case where the mother-in-law said “I will come to help you every day from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. when I get off work”. At that time, what the recent mother I am talking about wanted was to take a nap, taking advantage of the fact that her little girl used to fall asleep for a while.
Well, if it's bad for you. Say it. Gently explain to her that you'll be happy for her to come. But that time is not good for you.
One last piece of advice: let yourselves help. Sometimes it costs. Either because we like to feel independent or because you may feel uncomfortable watching your mother-in-law iron while you are on the sofa breastfeeding her, but it is good to relax and allow yourself to be pampered a little on those days.
Tags: help, visits | Filed under: maternity, Puerperium
